|Me before I met him|
I was convinced at this point he was having some sort of a breakdown and that I needed to be the strong one and get through it. I’d wake up in the night to turn over and he was awake, lying on his back with his eyes eerily wide open and staring at the ceiling. He had said a few extremely disturbing phrases to me such as “I can see model buildings and they’ve all been destroyed” and the other one he said to me more often was “I feel like I’m on a merry go round and I can’t get off.” I needed to be there for him, let him do whatever he needed to do as he clearly loved me otherwise he wouldn’t be having sex with me, would he? He wouldn’t have bought me that fairly expensive engagement ring four months ago? He wouldn’t be giving me the occasional cuddle surely? The odd affectionate moment? He was in there somewhere and I was going to be there for him and we would be stronger than ever. I even called the charity MIND convinced that the bizarre phrases he had said to me could mean he was in danger.
“He’s trying to get to you” my friends and family would say, “don’t let him.” All I could keep asking was “Why? What did I do? Why has he got such a vendetta against me?” Nobody could answer me. The weeks to follow carried on horrendously. His son wanted to keep in touch with me telling me “he’d never forget me” but his Dad was determined to put an end to it. He called my parents and told them that his son’s mother was getting a restraining order against me contacting him. I wasn’t contacting him at all, his son was calling and texting me (as shown above.). I called his ex wife up immediately for clarification. She told me “Karen, he’s a liar and a narcissistic. He believes his own lies. My son sees you as his step mum and for as long as he wants to talk to you, he can. Honestly, I was left scratching my head at the end of our marriage as I couldn’t work out what the hell had gone on.” She had voiced exactly what I was going through and I firmly believe he has done this many times previously and will continue to do so. All of his exes were crazy and he had been engaged five times, two facts I knew from the start but just dismissed them that he had just had bad luck. He also told me from the start he had punched a ex-girlfriend in the face so I knew he was capable of domestic violence. Of course now I know the common denominator in his previous relationships were all him, many of the women were not local to him so there was no chance of the truth of what he did getting out either which I think is a very clever tactic.